'Bachelorette' recap: snowmobiling, bobsledding and an early 'I'm falling in love with you'

Prior Lake American

During last week’s “The Bachelorette,” starring 2008 Prior Lake High School graduate Becca Kufrin, there was so much drama and so many injuries that the rose ceremony was pushed to this week’s episode.

For those who don’t really know what’s going on with this whole “Bachelorette” rigamarole, a rose ceremony is where the lead of the season hands out roses to contestants that he or she feels should stay and further the relationship. Those without roses are sent home. This continues until two contestants are left at the end of the season and the lead chooses one to get engaged to.

Therefore, the rose ceremony being at the beginning of the episode even though it’s a natural conclusion makes no sense. But oh well — it’s still early enough in the season that who went home is not really relevant as they never got any screen time, anyway.

Instead, viewers are shown a conversation between Kufrin and Blake about how many children they want to have because as Kufrin keeps reminding the contestants: You have to have those sort of conversations in a short period of time.

Kufrin wants three and Blake says he wants five, which is something that someone who doesn’t have to go through labor five times would say. They both say they’d like to give a boy name to a girl, like Stevie or Charlie.

“Everything with Blake feels so natural,” Kufrin said. “He always comes around and lifts my spirits. It just keeps getting better and better and better.”

Contestant David then makes his grand return, complete with a black eye, busted nose, swollen lip and burst blood vessels in his eye. You might think, “Wow, what happened? Did he get in a car accident? Did one of the other contestants beat him up?”

You’d be wrong. David fell out of bed.

“What hurts the most is not being here for Becca,” David said.

Sure, David. You fell from the top of a bunk bed, only to smash your face on the tile floor and had to be in the hospital for more than a day. But yeah, what hurts the most is not being there for Kufrin. Right.

Sure, David looks rough — the bloodshot eye is a little gross — but he still essentially looks like David.

To male model Jordan, however, David might as well be a troll that lives under a bridge (or in Facebook comments).

“There’s no way David is getting a rose tonight,” Jordan said, right as footage is shown of Kufrin giving David the rose early so he can rest up.

These two are headed straight for a two-on-one. For those who don’t know, there are only a few categories of dates on “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette” — one-on-one dates, group dates and two-on-one dates.

The two-on-one dates are generally reserved for contestants who are feuding.

“I may not have a male model face at this point, but I have a rose,” David said. But then Jordan gets a rose during the ceremony, which means he has a male model face and a rose. So, that’s a point for Jordan.

Colton, Chris, David, Jason, Nick, Christon, Lincoln, Blake, Garrett, Leo, John, Connor and Jordan make it through the first rose ceremony of the episode to head to the fabulous, the gorgeous, the number-one-destination-spot-in-the-United-States... Park City, Utah.

Oh, alright.

“I truly, truly feel my husband, my partner, my teammate is in that group of guys,” Kufrin said.

Garrett, who received the first impression rose on the premiere episode, is chosen for the first one-on-one date in Utah, which consists of shopping in the downtown area (during which Kufrin said she loves Stillwater) and bobsledding.

“He just makes me feel like I can be my goofy self and he embraces that because he’s kind of the same way,” Kufrin said. “Garrett does remind me of home. I feel like my dad is watching throughout this and Garrett is somebody that he would really, really like.”

During dinner later in the evening, Garrett reveals that he was married before. He was married for nearly two years, engaged for one year and then divorced after two months of marriage.

“She was very emotionally abusive,” Garrett said. “I’ve had two years to heal and go through the process. I’m looking for a partner in life. ... I’m here to build a true, strong connection and if it’s not there and it doesn’t feel right, I’m not going to stay in it.”

Though Kufrin said she’s worried that Garrett will be ready to get engaged again after having already gone through that and it not work out, he gets a rose at the end of the date.

After dinner, the two head to a concert by country artist Granger Smith and kiss and dance the night away.

“Aye, aye, aye, I’m in trouble,” Kufrin said.

Back at the mansion, contestant Lincoln is telling the other men that he believes the earth is flat because the ocean would fall off if the earth were round, because no one apparently told him about gravity.

But, that revelation pales in comparison to what was revealed about Lincoln in the last week. To get serious for a moment, Lincoln was charged with indecent assault and battery for groping and assaulting a woman on a cruise ship in 2016. He was convicted on May 21, which means he might have to register as a sex offender.

ABC released a statement that the charges did not appear on what is supposed to be a thorough background check, meaning a person charged with battery and assault was allowed to be alone and interact with Kufrin.

Male model Jordan, Chris, Blake, Nick, John, convicted sex offender Lincoln, Leo, busted face David, Connor, Harlem Globetrotter Christon, Jason, Tia’s ex Colton and Jean Blanc are on the group date, which ends up being a lumberjack competition.

Kufrin said she fell in love with lumberjacks at our very own Minnesota State Fair and that she’s looking for the lumberjack to her lumberjill.

“At 14, girls were falling for Leonardo DiCaprio or Justin Timberlake, but I was falling for the lumberjacks,” Kufrin said.

The competition, titled “Becca’s Big Lumberjack Bash,” consists of log rolling, picking up and pushing logs, axe throwing, log sawing and scaling a log pole. It’s a lot of logs.

These men better be careful as Kufrin turns out to be really good at throwing axes. Like, really good.

John, a software engineer who worked on the Venmo app, ends up being unexpectedly jacked and kills the lumberjack competition. If he ever gets bored being a software engineer, he could definitely be the next Paul Bunyan.

He receives the “golden axe” award but since it’s not a rose, it doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.

During the cocktail party later in the evening, Kufrin spends one-on-one time with each guy — including Lincoln, who was charged with sexual assault at the time. Fortunately, his time is cut short by Jean Blanc, who is feeling the stress after not spending much time with Kufrin.

He decides to go for broke and tell Kufrin that he’s falling in love with her. Yes, on week four, where there are still like, 15 guys left.

“I’m falling in love with you and I’m just putting it out there,” Jean Blanc said.

Kufrin responds with complete silence for about 30 seconds, which is always a good sign when you’ve just told somebody that you are falling in love with them.

“I don’t know if I’m on that same page,” Kufrin said. “This is a lot. ... I think we’re just on different wavelengths right now. Can I walk you out?”

On a show that requires you to fall in love in about eight weeks, Jean Blanc fell in love about four weeks too soon. Panicking and now rejected, he decides to backpedal.

“I just thought that that’s where you wanted to take things and that you were ready and that’s what you wanted to hear,” Jean Blanc said.

Translation: “I lied to your face because I didn’t want to get kicked off.”

Except now, Jean Blanc is still getting kicked off and Kufrin is in a terrible mood.

“I’m so pissed because I’m only asking for honesty from you guys,” Kufrin said. “That’s all I want and to not get that, I feel so disrespected and I’m so upset with him. If anyone else cannot be honest with me from here on out, I don’t want you here.”

Kufrin ends up being so disappointed that she doesn’t give out a group date rose and ends the date right then and there. She said she has never had a relationship where the man knew exactly what he was feeling.

“I’m done with that,” Kufrin said. “I’m so over that.”

However, contestant Wills is able to lift Kufrin’s spirits with a one-on-one date the next day. The two go snowmobiling and drink champagne in the Utah mountains.

During dinner in the evening, Wills tells Kufrin that he dated someone for multiple years who ended up cheating on him and that he’s scared of not being enough for somebody. Kufrin said she’s scared of that as well and Wills receives the date rose.

“After spending the day with Wills, I feel like my journey is back on track,” Kufrin said.

The men all return to the mansion where show host Chris Harrison, who gets paid too much, makes a second appearance to let them know that Kufrin has decided not to host a cocktail party, skipping straight to the rose ceremony.

“I know what I need to do tonight and I didn’t want to put the guys through a long night tonight if I know what to do,” Kufrin said.

Harlem Globetrotter Christon and Nick end up being sent home, meaning Leo, Garrett, Tia’s ex Colton, Wills, Blake, Jason, picture throwing Connor, convicted sex offender Lincoln, lumberjack John, Chris, busted face David and male model Jordan are heading to Las Vegas next week.